The Grad School Guide | Emma Puddicombe
While I'm sure all of you will take the time to read this post, I would like to call out a few people in particular who I will be talking to for the next five hundred words or so:
- Those of you who have never been to Toronto.
- Those of you who have only been to the Airport in Toronto.
- Those of you who have never lived in a city the size of Toronto before.
Toronto Sign (Source)
Stage 1: Excitement.“This is going to be amazing!” Yes, we have all thought this, and it’s a fair thought. Toronto is an amazing city full of cool new things to do and experience. One could even say it’s the Canadian equivalent of moving to NYC. You spend your time fantasizing about what your days will be like and how amazing your life is going to get. And why not? You’re young and you have a bright future ahead of you. This is the time when you start to research the city and make lists of everything you want to do and everywhere you want to go. The sky is the limit!
Stage 2: Denial.
So you’ve moved to Toronto, and it’s...different. You think back to your fantasies and realize it’s not anything like you pictured. You don’t let yourself think too much, though, and focus on only positive energy and thoughts. Sure, you don’t know how to get around the city because you’ve never taken the subway or buses before. Sure, you don’t know where the closest grocery store is and haven’t bought groceries in a week. None of that matters! You are in Toronto and everything is going to be amazing!
Stage 3: Fear.
Positivity is dead. You are in full survival mode now. The idea of traveling anywhere other than Bissell Building and the route home sounds like a deathwish. Any time you watch a crime show you end up sleeping with the lights on for a week. The city is just so big and you don’t know how to take everything in. Logically, you know nothing is really going to hurt you, but the other day you took a wrong turn trying to find a Staples and your heart rate still hasn't come down.
Stage 4: Bargaining.
It starts with small things, like telling yourself that if you run outside every day, then you don’t need to go to the gym that you still aren’t used to. Next, you tell yourself that it’s okay to use all the groceries money on takeout because it’s still buying food. Soon enough you’re making all kind of promises to yourself that deep down you know aren’t true. If you see your friends every day in class then you don’t need to make plans to see them off campus. Once you finish the new season of Brooklyn Nine-Nine then you’ll go check out those museums you wanted to see. The stage 3 fear begins to set in more, and you withdraw to what makes you most comfortable. But that’s okay because all those things which would help you expand your comfort zone? You’ll do those next week...when you have more time...ya.
Stage 5: Depression.
You will get overwhelmed. You will cry. You will be better for it. This is when The Big Cry™ happens. All of a sudden, all those emotions you have been pushing down since you arrived come rushing forward and you can’t hold it in anymore. You don’t know where anything is. You don’t do the things that bring you joy anymore. You can’t sleep at night because the city around you is so bright and loud. Nothing feels like home and you don’t think anything ever will again. You feel like everyone has adjusted to the city except for you. You feel lost, alone, and begin to wonder if you really made the right choice coming to the city. So you cry.
Stage 6: Acceptance.
The best part about The Big Cry™ is how it manages to reset your whole outlook. Suddenly, you are spending more time on campus with your friends after class. You begin to travel one more block further than you have before, and a flood of excitement rushes through you when you finally discover a new coffee shop you love. You begin checking things off the list of yours from stage 1, and even add a few more while you’re at it. You buy groceries. Toronto, for the first time, begins to feel a little more normal, and you can honestly say you are happy to be here.
It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay to bargain. It’s okay to cry. Toronto is a big change and is not something you can adjust to overnight. Just know there are always people who will be happy to help you if you need it, and everything will be alright soon enough!
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